Pati Ka Tohfa – Saasu Maa

“Naa beti, na, main beer nahin peeti. Beer pee kar main pagla jati hoon, behak jati hoon. Main nahin chahti ki main apne bete jaise damad ke samne koi ulti pulti harkar kar baithun. Aur beer meri kam vasna ko bhi bhadkati hai. Mere badan mein ek khujli see hone lagati hai. Mujhe sach mein mard ki kami bahut mehsoos hoti hai. Yahan par meri halat bahut kharab ho jayegi. Please mujhe beer peene ko mazbur mat karna!!!!!” Main muskura padi. “Mummy ghabrane ki koi baat nahin hai. Aapki har problem ka hal hai mere pass. Ab humko bas shower hi lena hai. Arre mummy aap ne to apni chut par shave bhi nahin ki hai. Kia aapke yaar jhanton wali chut pasand karte hain? Mahesh ko to chut bilkul saaf hi pasand hai. Aapki chuchi kitni mast hai!! Agar mere pati ko mauka mil jaye to sara din aapki chuchi hi chusta rahe!!!” Maine mummy ki nangi chuchi ko kas ke daba diya. “Beti, tum bahut besharam ho gayi ho. Apni maa se essey baat karte hain kia. Aur tum ne Mukesh bhai sahib ke saath mujeh kab dekha?” Main bas muskura padi aur hum dono shower ke neeechey nahane lage. Main naha kar bahar chali gayi to mummy apni chut par shave karne lagi.

Mahesh jab lauta to ussne bahut see beer ki bottles kharidi hui thee, kuchh tandoori murge, salad, bhune huye kaju, cigarettes. Saman ke upper kuchh condoms bhi thay. Tabhi Mummy towel lapet kar bathroom se bahar nikali. Vo condoms dekh kar sharma gayi. Mahesh ne beer ke teen glass banaye to mummy boli,” Beta main nahin peeti, maine Aarti ko bataya hai, kion Aarti?” Maine hans kar kaha,”Mahesh mummy kehti hai ke beer pee kar vo behak jati hai aur maine kaha hai ki yahan kaun sa koi bahar ka adami hai? Agar mummy behak bhi jayegi to hum sambhal lenge, kion Mahesh?” Maine puchha to Mahesh ne mujhe bahon mein bhar kar chumte huye kaha,”Haan darling kion nahin” Uss wakt main pink colour ki transparent nighty pehne hui thee aur neechey puri nangi thee.

Jab mummy kapde pehanane ke liye jane lagi to maine ussko rok liya,” Mummy yahin baitho na hamare pass. Aaj ke din sab kuchh bhul jayo ki main aapki beti hoon aur Mahesh aapka damad hai. Yahi samajho ki hum teeno yaar hain aur Simla maze lootne aaye hain. Mahesh bhi aapko apna yaar hi samhje ga” Mummy kuchh sharmate huye mere pass baith gayi. Mahesh ne mujhe dekha to maine aankh mar kar ishara kia”Mummy, aap mere pass baith jayen. Main apne haath se aapko beer pilata hoon. Tabhi aapki jhijak khatam hogi” Kehte hi ussne mummy ko apni godi mein bitha liya aurglass mummy ke honthon se laga diya. Mummy ne sharam se ankhen band kar kee lekin beer pee lee. “Mahesh tum bhi shower le lo, na. Tujh se pasine ke smell aa rahi hai. Tab tak main mummy ki sharam khatam karti hoon. Dekhun to sahi ke meri mummy kitni behakati hai pee kar. Aur fir tum bhi to ho mummy ko sambhalne ke liye. Zara achhi tarah se saaf karna apna……” Maine jan bujh kar baat adhuri chhod dee. Mummy ka chehra lal ho utha aur Mahesh besharmi se han pada aur bathroom mein chala gaya.

Maine ek ek glass aur bhara aur mummy ko de dia. ‘ Mummy, app saath wale room se kuchh CDs le aayo. Dekhe hain TV par aur lete hain beer ka maza. Saath wale rom mein hum ne kuchh bahut garam blue films ki CDs rakkhi hui thee. Mera plan mummy ko blue ilm dikha kar apne pati se chudwane ka tha. Iss se main apne pati ki ichha puri kar doongi aur fir mummy ko bhi lund ka sawad mil jaye ga. Mahesh bathroom mein nahate huye ga raha tha. Jab mummy kuchh der tak vapis na lauti to maine dekha ki mummy bathroom ke andar jhank rahi thee. Jab vo vapis aayi to mummy ka chehra laal tha.”Kion mummy apne damad ka lund dekha?Maine aapko dekh liya tha jhankte huye. Ghabrane ki zarurat nahin hai. Mera sab kuchh aapka hi to hai’ Itne mein Mahesh aa gaya. Ussne bhi kewal towel hi lapet rakha tha kamar ke ird gird. Hum teeno beer peene lage aur chicken khane lage. Mummy zara aram se baithi thee. Maine uth kar ek blue film chalu kar dee jo ki ek hindi ki thee. Iss film mein ek amir parivar ki maa apne naukar se chudawa rahi hoti ahi aur upper se usski jawan beti aa jati hai aur maa beti ko bhi naukar se chudwane ko nimantrit karti hai.

Film ke shuru hote hi Mahesh ne mujhe sofe par lita kar chuma shuru kar diya. Mummy ki nazar TV se hat nahin rahi thee aur jab uss ne sofe par dekha to tab tak Mahesh mujhe nanga kar chuka tha aur meri chuchi chus raha tha. Mummy ki ankhon mein bhi lal dore tair rahe thay. Mahesh, apni saasu maa ka bhi khyal rakho zara. Mummy bahut akeli hai. Mummy se pyar karo, Mahesh.” Mahesh ne mujhe chhod dia aur mummy ki taraf badh gaya. Mummy ne bhi apni bahen khol kar Mahesh ko alingan mein le liya. Mahesh aur mummy ab samajh chuke thay ki mujhe un dono ke milan se koi dikat nahin hai aur main bhi unka milan chahti hoon. Mahesh ne mummy ko bahon mein bhar ke kiss kar liya to meri mummy ki kamuk sisaki nikal gayi. Mera pati aur meri mummy esse kiss karne lage jaise vo pati patni hon. Unke lips “puch” “puch” karne lage. Tv screen par naukar apni malkin ko ghodi bana raha tha.