Do Number Ka Badmash – Part I

Ye chuten, gaand aur land sab kaam dev ke haatho ki katputliyan hai, kon si chut aur gaand kis land se kab kaha aur kitni der chudegi koi nahi janta! – is kahani se! bachpane se jab bhi jiro ke barish hoti ya jor ki bijali kadakti thi to main darr ke ke maare ghar me dubak jaya karta tha, par use raat ki barish ne mujhe romanch se labalab bhar diya tha aaj bhi jiro ki barish hoti hai aur bijali kadakti hai to mujhe ek sher yaad aa jata hai !! E khuda itna na baras ki wo aa na paye ! aane ke baad itna na baras ki wo ja na paye !! june mahine ke aakhri din chal rahe the aur madhu (meri patni) garamiyon ki chhutiyon me apne maike gayi hui thi, main akela drawing room me khidki ke pass betha makki ke baare me soch raha tha (makki mere sale ki ladki hai) pichhle saal wo ek sadak durghatna ka shikar ho gayi thi aur hame rota-bikakhta chhod kar chali gayi thi, sach pucho to pichhle ek-dedh saal me koi bhi din aisa nahi bita hoga ki maine makki ko yaad na kiya ho.

Wo to mera jese sab kuch loot kar hi le gayi thi aur main wahi uski panty aur reshmi rumal hath me liye betha uski yaad me aansu baha raha tha, har aahat par main chonk sa jata aur lagta ki jese makki hi aa gayi hai, !! darwaje par jab koi bhi ahat si hot hai to lagta hai ki tum aayi ho ! taaro bhari raat me jab koi jugnu chamakta hai lagta hai tum aayi ho ! umas bhari garmi me jab purwa ka jhonka aata hai to lagta hai tum aayi ho ! dur kahi amraiyi me jab bhi koi koyal kukti hai lagta hai ki tum aayi ho !! us din raviwaar tha main sara din ghar par hi raha, pehle din jo bajar se blue filmo ki 4-5 cd laya tha unhe computer me copy kiya tha aur ek do film dekhi bhi par makki ki yaad aate hi maine computer band kar diya, din me garmi itni jada thi ki aag hi baras rahi thi, raat ke koi 10 baje honge ki achanak mosam badla aur jiro ki aandhi ke sath halki barish shuru ho gayi aur hawa ke ek thande jhonke ne jese mujhe sehla sa diya.

Fir achanak call bell baji aur lagbhag darwaja pitte hue koi bola “didi..!! jiju.. !! darwaja jaldi kholo.. didi..!!!?” kisi ladki ki aawaj thi, makki jesi aawaj sunkar main jese apne khyalon se jaga ki is samye ko aa sakta hai? maine rumal aur panty jeb me dali aur jese hi darwaje ki aur badha, ek jhatke ke sath darwaja khul gaya aur koi mujhse jor se takraya, shayad chitkani khuli reh gayi thi to darwaja pitne aur jor lagane se apne aap khul gaya aur hadbdahat me wo mujhse takra gayi, agar maine use bah se nahithama hota wo jarur gir padti aur aapa -dhapi me uske kamdhe se latka bag (laptop wala) niche hi gir gaya, wo chikhti hui mujhse jor se lipat si gayi aur uske badan se aati pasine barish aur jawan jism ki khushboo se mera tann mann sab sarabor hota chala gaya, uske chhote chhote uroj mere sine se sate hue the aur wo roye ja rahi thi, main hakka bakka reh gaya kuch samajh hi nahi paya.

Aur koi 2-3 mint ke baad mere muh se nikla “k k kon.. arre.. n n n.. ni.. nisha tu..??? kay baat hai.. arre kya hua.. yum itni dari hui kyo ho..?” ohh ye to madhu ki cousin nishsa thi kabhi kabhar apni nokari ke silsile me yaha aaya karti thi aur raat ko yaha theher jaati thi, pehle maine is chidiya par dhyan nahi diya tha, aap soch rahe honge ki itni mast hasin londiya aur mera dhyan pehle kyo nahi gaya, iske do kaaran the ek to wo sardiyon me ek do baar aayi thi to wo kapdon se ladi fudi thi, dusra uski aankho par mota sa chashma par aaj to wo kamal lag rahi thi, usne contect lens lagwa liye the kandho ke upar tak baal kate hue the kaano me sone ki patli baaliyan, jeans pent me kase nitambh aur khule top se jhalakte kandhari anar to keher hi dha rahe the saali apne aap ki jhansi ki roshni kehti hai par lagti hai nenitaal ya almoda ki pahadi billi, “ohh.. sorry jiju.. madhu didi kaha hai?.. didi.. didi..” nisha mujhse pare hatte hue idhar udhar dekhte hue boli.

Main “ohh didi ko chhodo pehle ye batao tum itni raat gaye barish me dari hui.. kya baat hai..??” wo boli “wo.. wo ek kutta..” main “haan haan kya hua? tum thik ho?” nisha abhi bhi dari hui khadi thi uske mujh se kuchh nahi nikal raha tha to maine darwaja band kiya aur uska hath pakad kar sofe par bithaya aur fir puchha “kya baat ha? tum ro kyo rahi thi??” jab uski saans kuch samanye hui to fir wo boli “dar asal saari musibat aaj hi aani thi pehle to presentation me hi der ho gayi thi aur fir khana khane ke chakkar me 2 baj gaye car bhi aaj hi khrab honi thi, bus stand gayi to agara ki bus bhi chhut gayi” shayad in dino uski posting agra me thi, main itna to janta tha ki wo kisi dawa banane wali company me kaam karti hai aur marketing ke silsile kai jagha aati jaati rehti hai, par is tarah dare hue rote hue hadbada kar aane ka karan meri samajh me nahi aaya.